How to help young people keep their families together. How to preserve marriage and family: advice from a psychologist

A marriage can crack for many reasons: after the birth of a child, financial problems or misunderstandings. When it comes to divorce, the parties may want to keep the family together, but after the experience, this is difficult to do. All the time, negative moments will pop up in my head, who said and did what. Before applying for divorce, the psychologist recommends trying to return the relationship, redirect it in the right direction, dissuade the partner from going to court, and gives specific advice on how to save the marriage.

Why do people get divorced?

Any psychologist will say that ideal family relationships cannot be a priori. Two people who spend a lot of time together cannot avoid quarrels, resentments or litigation, even if they love each other. Sometimes crises happen, here you need to understand how to keep the family from divorce in such cases.

It is more important not to save your marriage, but to prevent the events that precede the separation. To understand how to avoid divorce, you need to understand why it is coming.

According to statistics, in Russia, couples diverge most often for the following reasons:

• Alcoholism. Many suffer from a passion for alcoholic beverages, but not all are ready to tolerate their partner's alcoholism. Often, spouses break up immediately after the first relapse of the disease, without trying to change the situation.
• Poverty. Family relationships require large investments, the need for which is increasing. This is due to the housing issue, the birth of a child, and the family's capabilities. Preventing problems is difficult. Due to a lack of finance, wives often leave the family.
• Treason. The infidelity of the spouses can be associated with many troubles in family life: scandals, lack of attention and intimacy. If one spouse left for another person, then it is not worth maintaining such a relationship; to dissuade him from divorce after such a betrayal is not the best way out of the situation.

If the cause of the conflict is everyday life, then couples usually endure such troubles, after quarrels they prefer to make peace and family relations continue. But such spouses are looking for an excuse to leave, so it is important to understand what to do and how to save the family from divorce, if one of the couple has thought about this for a long time. Relatives, problems with the birth of children, illness (spouses, child) can affect the relationship. And in such cases, many do not understand how to save the marriage and make peace, because they do not see the solution to these problems.

Often after the birth of children, passion fades away. Financial problems, fatigue and lack of sleep begin. Because of this, some may want to flee right after the birth of their children. It is possible to survive such a crisis, relations can be restored. The main thing is to understand that after the birth of a child you are considered a full-fledged family, and all troubles can be corrected.

Not all spouses need to be given a second chance - in many cases, divorce is inevitable. But if the husband loves his wife, and she loves him, then the relationship must be maintained. Feelings should not be allowed to suffer because of minor troubles, and if they are, then both in a couple will have a desire to improve.

After the birth of a child, a lot in the family changes, a crisis may come. Not all spouses experience it, many give up. The preservation of the relationship is necessary for the child: after the divorce of his parents, his life will not change for the better. At the same time, he should not be the only reason why the spouses are together. Many say: “I don’t want to divorce my wife because of the children, otherwise I would have left long ago”.

Over time, such relationships can lead to unhappiness, aggression and even domestic violence. And for a child, such a family will be a worse option than divorced parents.

If both want to keep the relationship

There are times when people just can't be together and decide to file for divorce. One loves the other, but the situation in the relationship leaves much to be desired. They do not know how to avoid divorce and improve relationships, but they understand what it is for.

The help of a family psychologist can solve the problem. In the West, it is customary to contact such specialists on a regular basis, but here in our country there are few people who are in a hurry to talk to a doctor about “personal matters”. The psychologist will be able to find all the hidden problems of the relationship faster than the spouses, give the necessary advice, and dissuade them from divorce. It will be much easier to make peace if the couple is helped by an expert in their field.

If you do not talk to each other, then it will not work to make up and restore relations. If your husband wants to divorce you, do not be silent, but do not rush at him with reproaches, but try to find out the reason for this decision, listen to everything he said, speak yourself.

In times of crisis, nothing good comes to mind. Therefore, you need to literally force yourself to remember the best moments in this marriage: a first date, a wedding, the birth of a child, a joint vacation. During conflicts, it is forgotten who loves whom; anger and aggression come to the fore.

Important! Often, when it is decided to file for divorce, spouses discuss the process with friends and family, who may have subjective opinions about the situation and give the wrong advice. It is necessary to resolve family conflicts and put full stops, discussing problems with each other, asking only your husband (wife) and yourself. How to avoid divorce is best known to the spouses themselves.

Many argue that prayer can save a marriage. Indeed, if one of the couple left, then you can ask God to return him. If you do not know how to avoid divorce and make peace, then turning to the Almighty will help to positively influence the development of relations. This can be done any day of the week, both at home and at church.

You shouldn't go to fortune tellers - it's not a fact that they know how to save a marriage. Spelling, dissuading and talking is not the same as prayer. In addition, there is a fairly large chance of stumbling upon a charlatan and losing a large amount of money - it is better to spend it on an appointment with a family psychologist.

If one spouse wants a divorce

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It is much more difficult if only the wife (husband) wants to divorce, but it does not work to dissuade him. Even prayer may not help here if one of the couple requires a break. If it comes to a divorce, then saving the marriage in this case will be very difficult, but you need to try until someone finally leaves.

When a wife does not know how to improve relations with her husband on the verge of divorce, she can seek the help of a psychologist. But often men make decisions that they do not want to discuss, they say, "I said so, packed up and left." In principle, the stronger sex does not like to go to the doctor, and may refuse to visit a psychotherapist. In any case, a psychologist's session will help at least one thing: the therapist can find the reason and protect against future mistakes, let the patient understand himself.

There are times when they reach a divorce because of resentment. At the same time, the initiator of the divorce may not be against restoring the relationship, but an unpleasant aftertaste remains. If you have something, always apologize and be aware of your mistakes. Then you can easily save the marriage, make peace and live a happy family.

Important! Before divorce, many try to pressure so that the spouse does not leave: health, tears, threats, pity, refer to the child. Even if such a marriage persists, there is little chance of living in a past happy life, since relationships based on threats or pity cannot be successful.

If you do not know how to convince your husband not to divorce and what to do next, it is better to consult a psychologist than to threaten and put pressure on your spouse.

Stages of relationship recovery

Important! At first, try not to require your spouse to stay, but simply to dissuade him from submitting documents before you personally resolve the conflict.

• Deal with conflicts. Analyze the situation on the shelves, understand why the spouse left and explain. It is necessary to give the spouse the opportunity to speak out and explain himself.
• Understand why you need marriage. Discuss this, imagine the family in the future, understand first of all for yourself why this relationship is needed. If necessary, you need to give time to think about the future for yourself and your spouse.
• Everyone starts with himself. If you know why your spouse left, then try not to allow the situation to recur in the future. If the problem is serious, a good psychologist can help solve it.
• Bring positivity to life. Say nice things, go for walks, try to do things together. Make your partner's wish come true - go on vacation wherever your spouse wants, celebrate his birthday on a grand scale, prepare special dishes, buy your favorite perfume.

Prayer for the Preservation of Marriage

First of all, prayer must be honest. You need to turn to God with a pure soul and believe that such an appeal will help. Prayer should carry a specific message to higher powers for the plan to come true. Prayer instills hope and kindness in the heart, so even for those who don't go to church often, turning to God can help solve many problems.

You need to ask God to return the husband to the family to all its members, including the child. It is important to ask the Almighty so that you can understand how to save your marriage, measure yourself, how to convince your husband not to divorce, how to restore a warm relationship, why he left and what to do next. Prayer should carry a powerful energy message, be as sincere as possible.

Important! Prayer from the lips of spouses can sound both at home and in a church or temple. The main thing is the sincerity of thoughts and thoughts.

It is possible to return the spouse who left. This requires introspection, a clear understanding of the problem, the ability to yield and listen, prayer will help someone. But it is also important to decide for yourself whether you need this relationship, whether you need to make up or the spouse really did not leave in vain.

Attention! Due to the latest changes in legislation, the legal information in this article may become out of date! Our lawyer can advise you for free - write a question in the form below:

Quarrels are a normal part of any family, but it is very important to be able to talk and understand each other to maintain a marriage. Otherwise, even a slight misunderstanding and resentment can provoke a break in relations, which, if both spouses wish, can always be saved.

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The preservation of marriage is important only if the partners still have feelings of love and respect, but against the background of everyday problems, disagreements and misunderstandings appear. Restoring family relationships that will be comfortable for both spouses requires regular and long-term self-improvement. If only one of the spouses is worried about preserving the family, then in most cases any efforts will be pointless, and as a result, the family will still fall apart. It is better to end such relationships immediately, without wasting energy and nerves.

For a long time, a woman has been considered the keeper of the family hearth, and it is on fragile female shoulders that the duty to negotiate and find compromises for the sake of preserving the marriage often falls. To improve family relationships, refresh feelings or minimize quarrels, psychologists recommend the following to women:

1. 1. Always remain a person - a man is interested in a wife only as long as she is interesting to herself. You should not completely immerse yourself in everyday problems. There should always be time for yourself, your appearance, hobbies and communication with childhood friends. Women in Islam pay special attention to looking beautiful for their husbands.
2. 2. Talk with your spouse more - do not resort to veiled phrases and subtle hints. The man will not understand them. It is better to talk about your grievances and desires directly and specifically, especially if the husband has grown cold and does not show any attention. In this case, there are more chances for a positive result and a solution to the problem. During a sincere conversation, you do not need to interrupt each other. Let the spouse first speak out, and then you can clarify important nuances and talk about your feelings.
3. 3. All quarrels are only in private - you should never swear in front of relatives, friends and children. In this case, the spouses will flaunt each other's shortcomings, which will negatively affect not only personal relationships, but also relationships with those who are present during quarrels.

In the presence of children, it is categorically impossible to quarrel, since in this case the child is responsible for the preservation of the family and the reconciliation of the parents. For the child's psyche, this is very difficult, and there is always a trace in the subconscious of the fact that family life is a problem and misunderstanding. As an adult, the child will transfer all fears to his family, which will negatively affect his life.

When the question arises of how to keep the family, you must first decide whether it is worth doing. It is very important to understand yourself and understand the motives for keeping the family - love and respect for a spouse, or simply the fear of being left alone and leaving the child without a full-fledged family. A woman especially needs to think about if a rival has become the cause of family problems and love.

Both spouses must participate in the struggle to preserve the family, so psychologists also give advice to men. If the husband does not want to bring the situation to a divorce, then he also needs to listen to the advice of professionals:

1. 1. Attention and care are necessary for every woman. Men rarely value their wives for order and comfort, a warm dinner and well-mannered children, although it is these concerns that take the most strength and health. It is important to regularly praise your wife, compliment her and, if possible, help with the housework. After all, it is not at all difficult to make the bed or wash a cup after you, but for a wife such care will be necessary.
2. 2. Do not completely immerse yourself in everyday life. A stamp in a passport is not a reason to relax and forget that a woman must be constantly conquered. You can invite your wife to a restaurant for no particular reason, arrange a date, or simply give a bouquet of wildflowers when your loved one does not expect it.
3. 3. Wife should always come first - neither work, nor relatives, nor friends should be more important than spending time with your spouse. No matter how much a woman loves and does not want to save her family, if she does not feel important and needed, nothing good will come of it.
4. 4. The spouse needs to be inspired - next to her man a woman wants to become better, and if her efforts are appreciated, the wife will do everything in her power to make her beloved and considerate spouse happy.

With the ability and desire to listen and hear each other, the spouses will be able to save the marriage and significantly improve the relationship, even if the cause of the problem is the betrayal of the wife or husband.

How to get over a relationship crisis?

Do not forget that crises arise in family life, and this is normal. The most difficult years of marriage are considered the first year after marriage, the third, seventh, fifteenth and twenty-fifth years of married life. It is during these intervals that couples most often think about divorce. To save a family, you need to adhere to the recommendations of psychologists:

• Surprises are the best way to bring novelty to a relationship and cheer each other up at no special cost (surprise does not mean a diamond ring, but a flower for no reason, a romantic dinner at home by candlelight, a sea of \u200b\u200bballoons after a hard day's work).
• Gratitude - instead of mutual reproaches, you need to find a reason to praise your partner every day for even the smallest action (the husband gave a ride to work, the wife ironed his pants, etc.).
• Memories - during crisis situations, it is better to recall pleasant moments that happened before (acquaintance, date, kiss), if possible, you can repeat these memories, for example, return to the places where the lovers walked at the beginning of the relationship.
• Sex - an intimate life is an important component of the relationship between a man and a woman, therefore, in times of crisis in the family, it is worth paying more attention to sex (trying new positions, visiting a sex shop and buying toys, discovering each other's secret desires and making them come true).

The main task of partners is to spend more time together and look for common interests, and not move away from the family on the verge of divorce. Any crisis in a relationship is a step on a new stage of life, a new round of the ladder. Therefore, it is very important to go through difficult moments together, as a result of which the relationship will become deeper and the family stronger.

Hello dear readers. Today I will share my top secret to a happy married life. I came to this only after a few years of marriage, after studying many books and lectures, after immersing myself in spiritual practice.

It will be about how to keep the family together. In a world where most marriages end in divorce. What is important to remember from the very beginning of a relationship? How to return harmony to the house after years of living together? What tips really work?

What is love?

The first thing to define is what is love? What are we aiming for? What holds the family union together?

This word can be understood in different ways:

• For some, love equates to sexual attraction;
• Someone calls love a passion that flared up at the beginning of a relationship;
• For some, the standard of marriage will be friendship between spouses;
• Sometimes, for spouses, love is a calm, warm feeling that lasts for decades.

Since our task is to maintain our union for a long time, we need to focus on feelings that will not fade over the years. Moreover, we must create something that it will be a pity to lose in a crisis, that we will not reject at some unfavorable time.

That is, if a marriage is built on sexual attraction, it is extremely unreliable. Not only can the same partner get bored over the years, but it can also be easily exchanged for someone more skillful. After a few years, a man may meet some unwelcome lady, younger and sexier, more relaxed, etc. Then the husband can change without regret. And at the same time and go to another family.

Falling in love, which is peculiar to us at the beginning of a relationship, also cannot become the basis of a strong union. Such love quickly fades away. And after 2-3 years it will be difficult to avoid divorce. Ideally, falling in love should grow into something more. I wrote about this process in the article "". But there is a great risk that this will not happen.

Family preservation guarantee

Love is not a cheap feeling. It needs to be constantly nurtured. It requires daily work from the spouses. However, if love arises within a couple, as a unity of souls ... Your husband will never exchange you for anyone. Simply because other women cannot give him anything of value. Love takes years to build. And to take and throw away what was created by such labor and start over - you must agree, it's a ridiculous idea.

But how can such love be created? What is it based on? And what if the family is already on the verge of divorce?

And now I will tell you the most important thing. Try not just to hear, but to realize it. Not to be discarded as some kind of banality, but to ponder ... I went through this on personal experience. Love is based on respect. Deep respect. And if you do not have this feeling, you need to do your best to create it inside your heart. Otherwise, the family is doomed.

It is very important for a woman to respect her husband. Moreover, respect not anyhow, but to the core. See him as a man. To accept a man in it. Honor your husband, be proud of him.

This is not an easy process. But if you really want to have a happy family, listen to me carefully. Every man has masculine qualities worthy of respect. But perhaps these qualities are still dormant. Perhaps they were suppressed by upbringing and strong women.

But everything is in your hands. You can make a difference. However, for this, first of all, you will need to change yourself.

How it works?

A man wants to be strong. He wants to be courageous. If your spouse has a sufficiently developed responsibility, self-confidence, reliability - great! You are very lucky! Now you only need to learn to constantly concentrate on the best qualities of your chosen one, show respect for them and be proud of your husband.

If you are sure that there is nothing masculine in your spouse, there is a very serious work ahead. Why am I talking about "masculine" qualities? Why is it so important for a man to be strong? Because we, women, in the vast majority of cases, it is very difficult to respect a weak man. Very difficult. We need him to be our protection and support. The head of the family, the winner, the breadwinner.

However, if you really value most of all in a man gentleness, sensitivity and obedience - please! Just don't kid yourself. It is not enough to appreciate a man. It is not enough to feel sympathy and warm feelings for him. He must be deeply respected. Respect!

If the husband suddenly appeared ...

Let us examine a more complex situation that occurs in very many pairs. And very rarely brings happiness. The wife is stronger than the husband. The wife is responsible, confident, smart, purposeful. It’s even worse if she earns significantly more than her other half.

This situation has a banal solution: a woman does not respect a man, does not believe in him. And he, in turn, degrades. Lies on the couch, does not want to take responsibility, does not develop. Both are dissatisfied with this situation, and both accumulate mutual claims ...

I myself was in a similar situation. Although not very neglected. So I know what I'm talking about. There is only one way out. The path of salvation is as follows:

1. A woman must learn to be passive and patient. Develop softness and. If she remains the head of the family, she will also carry all the responsibility on herself - the husband has no chance of change.
2. A woman is obliged to learn to accept her chosen one. To see in him responsibility and strength in an embryonic state. Meditate on his masculine qualities. Repeat affirmations. Engage in self-hypnosis. Use any methods! If only to learn to respect and honor the spouse.
3. As soon as she gains respect, miracles will gradually begin to happen. When a wife respects her husband, he slowly begins to respect himself. Slowly it starts to open up.
4. The more respect grows, the more the wife learns, the more responsible he becomes. The easier it is for him to take a leadership position.
5. The man begins to respect his wife himself. To respect a woman in her, to see her as your treasure and your muse. Relationships in a couple change a lot. The men were hungry for real respect. And such a woman becomes more precious than anything in the world.
6. Respect is not love yet. But this is already a rarity. Love grows out of this state by itself. And this will no longer be blind love, but the very love that multiplies over the years.

Yes, this path is very difficult. It once seemed to me almost unreal. I went through it for three years. But these three years have made an incredible transformation.

Three years ago, I could not even dream that my husband would turn out to be what he is now. Yes, and I myself behaved in a completely different way ...

Today we have a small holiday - five years of marriage. But I am sure that if we had not taken a different path in time, this holiday would never have happened.

Of course, I want both parties to participate in maintaining the marriage. But start with yourself. Do you want peace and love to reign in your home? Then start with yourself. If you don't start with yourself, then nothing will ever change.

Drop your pride. Both are to blame for the collapse of the young family. And if at least one of the spouses is ready to change, the family can be saved. Not 100% of the time, of course. But the chance is very great.

Start working on yourself. Let books, trainings, Vedic lectures help you. I sincerely wish you the best of luck.

By getting married, any man wants to maintain a relationship. But life turns out to be unpredictable - many families break up without passing the test of time and everyday life. And who is to blame for this? Is there only one person? It should be honestly admitted that the husband has a great responsibility. The wife deserves special treatment.

Rogers is not a certified expert, but 16 years of marriage gives him the opportunity to realize all his mistakes. Now he advises not to repeat his negative experience.

Don't stop courtship. Men who are married feel that their task of conquering women is over. You should never assume that a woman is a prize winning. When we ask her to marry us, it is understood that we will be the owner of her heart and the protector of her feelings. This is the most sacred treasure that we have inherited in life. Don't forget - she chose us. Always remember this and do not be lazy in expressing your feelings for your beloved.

Protect your heart. It is not enough to be the defender of a woman's heart, one must also keep one's own, being vigilant in this matter. You should love yourself, be open to the world around you, but at the same time keep a special place in your soul. There should be no access to anyone except the wife. Let the heart always be open for her, and only for her.

Fall in love again and again. We will constantly change, tomorrow we will be different, not what we were yesterday. Moreover, the spouses who have lived together for years are also changing. You should be prepared for changes to come. Based on this, you will have to choose each other again every day. And the chosen one should not just be there, her heart must be won every time, like the first. If this is not done, she will give her heart to another, and it will already be difficult to return her beloved. The advice is simple - fight for your love every day in your marriage, just like during courtship.

To see only the best in her. It is worth focusing on what you love about her and constantly expanding these boundaries. If you think only about her shortcomings, then this will result in only one irritation. A focus solely on love, if it does not help, then redeems in this bright feeling. Seeing what you love this person for, you can become the happiest person on the planet who has such a wonderful spouse.

It is not our task to change it. The husband's task is to love her for who she is, without expecting or demanding changes from her. If this did happen, then you need to love the woman the way she has become. And this is also part of a responsible relationship.

Take full responsibility for your feelings. It should be understood that it is not the wife's job to make you happy or sad. We ourselves are responsible for this, the joy born within us will result in harmonious relationships and love.

Never blame your wife for a fit of anger or frustration. Are we angry, and it seems to us that the wife is to blame for all the problems? But these are our feelings and our responsibility for them. When there is a feeling that anger is beginning to manifest itself, you need to quickly look at yourself from the outside and find ways to suppress the anger. After all, once this woman attracted us to herself, which means that it is she who is the person who is best suited to heal childhood mental trauma. And when we learn to heal them together, they will cease to bother us, there will be only bewilderment from the past behavior.

Let the woman just be herself. When she's upset or sad, it's not our job to fix it. A man must support his chosen one and let her know that nothing terrible has happened and that he is next to her. It is important that the woman understands that she is being heard, that she is important to her husband. He must remain someone on whom you can always rely. The female soul is saturated with emotions, everything is changing rapidly. Some feelings leave, they are replaced by others. But she will trust a strong and impartial partner and open her whole soul. Don't turn away and run away when she's upset. Be strong and make it clear that you are not going anywhere. And it's worth listening to what is actually behind the words and emotions.

Be silly. Don't be too serious all the time. Give free rein to your laughter and teach your beloved this. Having fun makes life easier. Just do not overdo it in this field.

Fill her soul every day. We need to learn the language of her love and those small features that she considers important. A man should make a list of the things that make his wife feel loved. And then they should be remembered and given priority every day. Let her feel like a princess, whose every day is like a small holiday.

Be there. You must give your wife not only your time, but also your attention. Let in moments of communication the head be freed from its own affairs and routine. Give yourself completely to her, showing that her problems are the most important thing. The wife is the most important client in your life and should be treated this way.

Get ready to embrace her sexuality. A rude man who only wants to consume the female body is an option that should be used only occasionally. The woman wants us to penetrate the very depths of her tender soul. Allow yourself to melt into her softness so she can trust you completely.

Don't be an idiot. You can't be a fool, but you can't be afraid of getting into ridiculous situations either. No one is immune from this. All of us make mistakes, both men and women. You just need to try to avoid serious mistakes, and if they do happen, then you need to learn from this experience. We cannot be perfect, but trying not to be stupid is quite real.

Give her space. Women share so much and qualitatively of themselves that sometimes it is necessary to remember about her development and personal space. Let her have the freedom and time to find herself and develop. It is worth letting a woman go for a while, and she will certainly return with fresh emotions and impressions. It is especially important to give her freedom when children have appeared in the family. She needs to stay a little in her personal world, to find herself there. Indeed, in the closed circle of serving children and her husband, a woman is gradually lost.

Be vulnerable. You cannot always be as hard as flint. You must sometimes share your fears and feelings, quickly admit your mistakes.

Grow together. If the water in the pond stands still, then it will be covered with mud. And the muscles of a person atrophy if you do not work on them. All this has to do with relationships that will face the same fate if not developed. We need to find common goals, dreams and ideals and continue to work in this direction.

Don't think about money. You should treat money like a game. You just need to find ways to work as a team to win such a prize. Scattered one by one, you cannot win anything. It is worth finding ways to use the two sides of power.

Goodbye quickly. You can't let history take the relationship hostage. It is worth learning to immediately forgive your beloved and focus on the future. This is much more constructive than dragging the past with you. When we hold on to past mistakes, it doesn't even matter, ours or hers, then our marriage is tightly attached to the past and does not allow development. Forgiveness is freedom. It is worth getting rid of such an anchor in favor of your love.

Always choose your love. This advice is the most important, in fact, it is the only one that must be followed. Let this principle be central to decision-making, then there will be nothing in life that could jeopardize marriage. Love can endure and endure trouble. Marriage is not a streak of continuous happiness, but painstaking work. With the willingness to grow together, to constantly invest in creating something, and you can endure forever. Through such work, happiness will appear.

Ekaterina Kozhevnikova

Reading time: 3 minutes

Relationships in the family, regardless of whether it consists only of spouses or already have children, sometimes it is difficult to maintain. Each person, be it a man or a woman, is an individual, a person with their own habits, outlook on life, opinions. Having made a decision and tying yourself to someone with family ties, this should be taken into account. Disputes and disagreements occur in almost every marriage, and one must be able to get out of such situations correctly so as not to escalate the situation and prevent a global conflict, which may be followed by a divorce.

The foundation of any marriage

The age of a man and a woman, family history, children - each of these moments plays a role in trying to keep the marriage from breaking up. But there are general rules that help keep the family together and avoid divorce, even in difficult life situations.

1. In the first place in any family is respect for each other.
2. All clarifications of the relationship between husband and wife should take place without witnesses, especially without children.
3. Do not stoop to mutual insults.
4. Be able to thank and praise. Even if taking out the trash in your family is your husband's responsibility, your wife should praise him for it. It will not be difficult for a man to praise his wife for a delicious dinner. Don't take such simple things in a relationship as unimportant.
5. Learn not only to listen, but also to hear.

Mutual support is another important point on which the family is based. Once home, the husband or wife should feel involved. Let your partner talk, but don't lecture or lecture.

The first years in the family

The first years of marriage are grinding in partners. The husband and wife enter family life with their habits, foundations, and they have to look for compromises in relationships, adjust something, put up with something. If this mutual adjustment does not occur, shortly after the couple has sealed their relationship by marriage, one of the spouses may want to file for divorce.

1. Try to avoid the desire to remake your husband or wife, it is better to start with your own adaptation to new conditions.
2. Have a lot of patience.
3. Appreciate those new relationships that you have had since you started your family, cherish them.
4. Don't forget about attention signs, they should be on both sides. These can be kisses, affectionate touch, gifts. It is not at all necessary to give your wife mink coats and cars, a trinket dear to your heart will be enough.
5. In the family, it is absolutely necessary to avoid harsh offensive criticism of the spouse.
6. Discuss your love life with your couple. But in no case touch your former partners, talk only about the two of you.
7. Go out together: to the cinema, cafe or just for a walk. Do not lock yourself in four walls, do not dwell on one person. Try to keep old friends, do not completely dissolve in your partner.
8. Learn to discuss and resolve family issues with your wife or husband. Psychologists say that it is communication, the opportunity to speak out that will help to avoid unnecessary problems and misunderstandings.

• Boredom in a relationship is the most common cause of adultery in marriage and, as a result, family breakdown. From day to day the same thing, and so every month, and sometimes all year round. Anyone can get bored with it. Get creative and suggest spending your weekend in a different way than usual. Nothing extreme, but instead of giving a summer residence, you can go on a hike with your family, and instead of a trip to your grandmother, you can go to the zoo. Rearrange your home, nothing global, just swap the sofa and TV. Go to a concert, theater, or visit an exhibition with your child.
• Before marriage, the wife was a beauty, and after she stopped taking care of herself, she turned into a "knot" in curlers and a dressing gown. Disappointment is what a husband feels when he sees this. He married an interesting woman, and after creating a family, she turned into a kind of continuation of the kitchen. Dear ladies, do not forget to take care of yourself: marriage is not a reason to start yourself up.
• Scandals and reproaches in the family. Any man, returning from work, expects comfort and peace in his family nest, and if his wife meets him with complaints, scandal and hysteria, then his trip "to the left" is not surprising. Be wiser, smarter, caress your spouse, praise, this will help to avoid his betrayal. After all, it is the warmth and sympathy that the husband seeks from that other.
• Dissatisfaction in bed. If not everything goes well with this question, then you should not be silent about it. It is necessary to discuss this moment with your couple, as a last resort, seek support from experienced psychologists, otherwise the betrayal will be systematic. For most men, sexual satisfaction is a fundamental factor in marriage, and if the relationship in bed with his wife does not work out, then it will be very problematic to dissuade him from divorce.

Psychologists' advice in this situation is simple:

1. From the moment you learned that replenishment is expected in your family soon, start actively communicating with the kids of your relatives, acquaintances, and friends. Get ready for their eternal why and why. Yes, these are not your children, but not in theory, but in practice, you will know what and how.
2. With the departure of the wife on maternity leave, the husband becomes the main "earner". It is he who is responsible for the financial well-being of the family. Remember this, dear men.
3. Maternal instinct is a great thing. A woman, unlike a man, intuitively knows what her baby needs. With dads, things are a little more complicated. Dads, do not be afraid to take the child in your arms, do not be afraid to stay with him alone, taking off some of the daily worries from your wife - walking, bathing or feeding. Thus, you give her time for yourself. This means that she will rest, smile more and be able to give more love and affection to her family, and her husband and baby.