What to do for the son of a single mother. Male opinion

08.09.202027.05.2017

Every mother wants to raise her son as a man, but for some reason not everyone succeeds!

It turns out that a good son in all respects can not cope with the role of husband, father and head of the family!

It was then that the woman began to analyze diligently: “What did I miss? She brought up according to all the rules and canons! "

How to raise a real man on your own? Avoiding embarrassing mistakes and turning your son into an irresponsible coward or tyrant? Let's try to figure it out.

According to statistics, more than 30% of children are raised by single mothers.

Why do you think there are more and more mama sons and sweet effeminate boys lately?

Because from childhood they adopt feminine qualities and demeanor, and their true, masculine nature is suppressed by their mother's upbringing.

The main problem in women's education is one-sidedness. Mom can talk for hours that a man should be strong, decisive, courageous. But without a real example for the child, these are just words.

Why does a boy need a father?

Many women live with the conviction that the child must have a father. Even if his presence is purely nominal, there is no question of fulfilling his father's functions.

Dear mothers, there is no need to bring someone into the family, just to create the illusion of a full-fledged cell of society!

If the situation develops like this, then it is better to raise a boy without a father - make this difficult, but correct choice.

In no case do not consider your family inferior! You are not alone, because you are a mother, and next to you is a real man. Even if he's three or five years old.

According to psychology, the boy's father is the prototype of truly masculine behavior. It is he who must teach his son to be strong, responsible, caring.

And the boy's attitude to the female sex is also formed under the paternal influence.

But let's face it: not every man who has a child can bear the proud title of a father.

If the dad does not want to be responsible for his actions, how can you entrust him with the fate of his son?

There are three possible scenarios.

1. Father died... There is no need to invent colorful images of a polar explorer or test pilot.

The boy needs to be told that his dad was a good man and a wonderful family man. For a while, the image of the deceased father will become an ideal to follow.

2. Communication interrupted... Even if you are very hurt and hurt, do not transfer these emotions to the child.

In the eyes of his son, the father should remain an ordinary person, just life circumstances prevented you from becoming a family.

A child should not grow up thinking that his dad is a pig and a scoundrel.

And even more so, one is not obliged to hear that “You are like a father! The same irresponsible! " or "These are all paternal genes!"

3. The father periodically sees his son... If he is not asocial, but a completely adequate person, there is no need to hinder meetings.

Just discuss the conditions of upbringing in advance, so that later you will not be faced with the fact that the child will come and say: "And dad said that you were wrong."

The experts give great advice: find a replacement. Not necessarily a stepfather. Grandfather, older brother, uncle, even the coach of the sports section is quite suitable for this role!

It is known that the character of a child is formed before the age of five. From this age, a man should be present in the boy's life, who will become an example to follow.

The next critical periods are 10 and 13 years. Children ask questions that the mother may not have answers to, independently test the boundaries of what is permitted.

How not to raise a mama's son?

It is difficult to answer this question. After all, a woman, as a rule, does not plan to bring up an “ignoramus” who cannot tear herself away from her mother’s skirt.

She truly believes that her son is growing up as a real man. And he closes his eyes to the fact that the child is lack of initiative, insecure and completely dependent.

The further life of such women passes under the motto: "Mom will decide everything!"

According to statistics, if the upbringing of a son without a father is entrusted to a woman who likes to dominate, or is prone to overprotection, in nine out of ten cases she will develop an infantile and emotionally immature personality.

For such women, raising a strong man is not an end in itself. But the dependent "big boy" who fulfills all the whims, in their understanding, is a wonderful son.

How to raise a son without a father and turn him into a weakling

Addiction... Yes, until a certain age, children depend on their mother. Only when a forty-year-old child cannot tear herself away from her mother's skirt - this is a clinic, comrades!

From an early age, mothers' sons receive a psychological setting: “You are not capable of anything without a mother,” and they follow it.

This is slavery in its most abhorrent form. Don't cultivate addiction in your child. Let him study, fill bumps, show independence!

Blackmail... Many mothers' sons are guided by a sense of guilt, because since childhood they have been listening to the same disc: "I sacrificed everything for you, I gave the last piece!" and stuff like that.

The child grows up with the feeling that he owes everything to his mother. As a result, he does not live a fulfilling life, as he is torn between trying to build relationships and a selfish mother.

Attitude towards the female sex... Let's be honest, mothers with such a son are good and comfortable. Therefore, she will interfere with his acquaintance with girls and turn against them: "Do not trust the girls, they are all the same."

The son will also choose his wife with the knowledge of the mother. If he gets married, of course.

The worst thing is overprotective... The mother will come to the kindergarten five times a day and visit the school during recess.

He will do everything so that his son can live at home during his studies at the institute, and even after marriage, he is unlikely to let the young family go to uncharted territory.

Tyrant child: how does this happen?

Answer yourself one question: are you the authority for your child?

You shouldn't blame everything on bad temper and bad genes. The fact that the child grows up with tyrannical manners is a serious omission of the parents.

Personal example... We do not see ourselves from the outside, and in fact most often the baby adopts the habits of others. If the mother has the manners of a lady, then the child will copy her.

No clear hierarchy... It is not for nothing that Japanese psychologists say: up to three years old a child is a god, from three to fifteen - a slave, after 15 years - a friend, an equal.

A slave does not mean that he needs to be chained and forced to do all the housework.

However, it is necessary to form a clear understanding that elders have more experience and knowledge, which means that they need to be obeyed.

Indulging... The child asked for the tenth kinder in a day? Another toy? How can you refuse him?

The inability to say “no” will only irritate the little manipulator.

He will put pressure on your pity, throw tantrums and test your strength.

Attempt to bribe... If the mother is alone, there are not enough hours in the day. It's easier to buy off a toy or sweets - and in return get half an hour of silence.

In the future, nothing will change in relations with the child either, only the size of the "bribe" will increase.

Trust and respect will be lost, and the person will compensate for the feeling of uselessness and loneliness with blackmail and extortion.

Should mom replace father?

It will be right if you remain a woman - beautiful, tender, loving.

There is no need to turn into a "boy-woman", build up your muscles and play football, if only your son does not feel flawed.

Psychologists say that at a certain period, boys begin to look for features of a mother in girls, and girls - for features of a father.

So be for the child in some sense the prototype of the ideal woman.

Give the little man some useful advice: “Did you notice that when we got off the minibus, my uncle gave me his hand? Every well-mannered man will give a hand to a woman when leaving the transport. Even a stranger. "

The son may not learn from you the male model of behavior (we have already mentioned the importance of a mentor), but in other respects you can become an example.

The ability to keep one's word, to be responsible for one's actions, to make decisions, to take care of the family - this is what the son can learn from his mother.

How to raise a son as a real man without a father?

Not a single, even the most experienced psychologist can insure you against all mistakes. But it can save you from the most common, on which many mothers have stuffed themselves with bumps.

We offer you the TOP-10 rules for raising a real man.

1. Independence... Of course, there is no need to shift all household chores onto the boy. A five-year-old child is not required to repair a crane, and a teenager does not have to make repairs.

If you are walking from the store, let your son carry the bag as much as he can. He must learn that it is not good for a man to go light if the woman is carrying packages.

Put away toys, help to put things, hang up the washed clothes ... If all the actions take place in a playful way, they will not seem like hard work.

Let the son go to kindergarten and school himself. At first, control the process, later - let him be responsible for mistakes and inattention.

2. Guard in moderation... How often do we see guys wrapped up to their very eyebrows on the streets, who are not allowed to go up the hill (fall) or swim in the river (get sick).

Physical inactivity and greenhouse conditions lead to the fact that the boy grows up sickly and apathetic. And then my mother complains about the bad environment and weak immunity.

Walk more, play outdoor games, enroll the child in the sports section.

Of course, you are worried about your child, but you do not need to call him from the window or bring cakes to school every five minutes! Pity and overprotection deprives the little man of the core, makes him addicted.

3. Trust... Single mothers have to work hard. But you understand that an expensive toy or branded jeans will not replace a child with confidential communication.

If you refuse to listen to him, he will look for like-minded people. And you will learn from the neighbors that the child has fallen into a bad company.

Take at least half an hour to ask how your day went, what worries, what happened? Don't dismiss conversations.

Even if you want to go to bed and switch off as soon as possible, and the child talks long and tediously about car models. Lose trust and intimacy - you won't be able to get them back.

4. Leaving a relationship... Imagine a situation: a woman (let's call her Anna) is courted by a man and invites her to marry.

Not knowing what to do, Anna consults with her son, because she is afraid that the child will not accept the unfamiliar uncle. And faced with what? With childish selfishness, because the boy does not want to share his mother with anyone.

Anna refuses her boyfriend, puts her son's opinion above her own, and reproaches him for the rest of his life for sacrificing her happiness.

If you have a child, this does not mean that you can give up on your personal life.

A wise woman will find an approach to her son and will be able to explain why it is better to have a man in the family. And the boy will have someone to take an example from!

5. Without assault... If you want to destroy the man in the boy, you can grab the belt! A mother who beats her son either evokes contempt and rejection in him, or turns the child into a weak, oppressed creature.

Talk, explain, watch and discuss films and cartoons, read instructive books!

Be more subtle! Cleaning an apartment as a working off or deprivation of using a computer is also a very unpleasant punishment.

6. Don't humiliate... Especially in public. If you allow yourself to sort things out with your child on the street, prepare for new problems.

In adolescence, this behavior will turn into rebellion and total distrust of mom.

Every man, even a small one, has pride. And constantly infringing on him, mother raises either a downtrodden child or a rebellious rebel.

Make it a rule: do not interfere with outsiders in your family showdown. Don't get lost, don't raise your tone.

If you feel that you are ready to break loose, it is better to leave the room and cool off. You need to talk with a man in a balanced and calm manner, and not at the ultrasound level.

7. Own example... How can you teach your son to come to school on time if you yourself are late everywhere?

Do you hope that he will love sports, but you yourself are too lazy to go up the stairs again? Boys don't like long lectures, they need an example.

If you cultivate and groom your laziness, then the child will prefer to sit in front of the TV to playing ball.

Create a daily routine for yourself and your son - and stick to it together. Look for common ground: shared hobbies, long walks, weekends outside the city.

It is also impossible not to mention bad habits: a mother who smokes a priori cannot talk about the dangers of smoking! And she certainly should not punish her for the cigarettes found!

8. Men's world... Try to keep your son rotated in male society. Friends, classmates, mates in a circle or section.

You will not be able to tell about everything that the son can learn in the "male" world. You yourself may not know this!

For example, peaceful mothers teach that all conflicts can be solved with words! But no!

Men, like male animals, often demonstrate their strength and superiority. Those who cannot stand up for themselves are branded as "mama's son". And living with it is no easier.

Therefore, it is important that the boy has a confidant - an uncle, brother, grandfather, teacher. Someone to whom you can turn to with questions that your mother will not be able to answer.

9. Love... Maternal tenderness is needed for a child of any gender. Fearing to bring up a "non-man", many mothers deprive their child of a normal childhood.

“Why are you crying, are you a man?”, “You are already a grown man, be responsible for your words!”.

After such an “attitude,” the son himself is not happy that he was born a boy, because he must meet some incomprehensible criteria of his mother in order to deserve a hug or an affectionate word.

It is very important to love and support your little man.

Do not compare him with others, do not set a neighbor or classmate as an example to follow.

Even after growing up, men remember these reproaches and constant comparisons, and cannot overcome the complexes raised by their own mother.

10. Forget about stereotypes... The worth of a family is not determined by the number of household members.

Can a family with seven children and an alcoholic dad be called happy? It is possible to educate a worthy person without a father. The main thing is to believe in your son, to support and gently guide.

Let your child explore the real world and make their mistakes! Even making a mistake is not so scary if you know that there is a person next to you who will always understand and support - a loving mother!

Hello dear visitors of our blog! Today we have a slightly sad topic: "How to raise a single mother's son." Let's talk about the problems that arise in such a family and ways to solve them. We will show you how to help a single mother raise a worthy man from her little child. Details in the article !.

A single mother. Do you surprise me now? Today, according to statistics, out of 100 families, 40 families are incomplete. In most cases, mothers raise their children alone. Naturally, much more problems can arise in raising a boy than in raising a girl, and we are not talking about pistils and stamens, but about the formation of the male principle in a child.

Unfortunately, in such a family, the boy has no example of male behavior, no image of a father. And the mother cannot show by her own example how real men act in various situations. In addition, a woman has to independently solve material and domestic problems, provide for her family. All this takes a lot of time and effort, as a result of which the child may suffer from the lack of proper attention from the mother.

The problems of a single mom and son

It often happens that women, unfortunately, put on the fragile shoulders of the child, all the grievances against his failed father. And every time such a woman, more often than not even thinking about it, reproaches a child who is “all father” in all the troubles. It also happens that a single mother begins to hold her little man responsible for the family and for herself. To inspire the boy that he is the only man in the family and must make decisions ...

Thus, the mother expects that her son, regardless of age, will be responsible for his life and for the life of his adult mother ... With this kind of upbringing, boys become hyperresponsible and are not afraid of work. But at the same time, they get a serious neurosis and a tendency to aggression, depression, they develop bad habits and a tendency to psychological disorder.

Often a modern woman (by the way, not always alone) has a habit of shifting the reins of government in raising a child to her grandmother. It's good when there is a grandfather, which of course simplifies the task of introducing male habits into the behavior and education of boys. But if only a grandmother can help, not always of course, but in most cases such upbringing makes boys spineless. He has problems communicating with peers, and he also has a habit of solving his problems at someone else's expense.

How to properly raise a single mother's son

Raising a MAN by a mother is not an easy task. To do this, there are some tips that are worth listening to.

The boy must communicate with men. With a father or grandfather, uncle or brother, with peers or with a coach in the sports section. The guy should have an example of male behavior. Encourage this.

Pay attention to his development as a man. Let him attend various sections.

Observe and encourage your child's interests.

Love as a means of education

Do not deny him the manifestation of feelings, often hug and kiss your treasure.

Only a happy mother is capable of raising a happy person. The mother's task is to help her son become a real man. It is very important to tell your child words of love. Frequently repeat to your little man from birth such words as: “I love you, I am proud of you”, “there is no one more important than you”. Or: "I believe in you, I listen to you, I trust you, I always think about you, I miss you very much, excuse me."

Console: “Losing is not scary, it's okay to feel angry or fearful. You are a great fellow, you did not win the competition for the best drawing, but you are the best in the world at drawing the most beautiful robots. "

Our communication with his sons, our words, will become his inner voice in the future. Everything that we say to our children remains in their subconscious. For a child, no matter a boy or a girl, it is very important to hear warm, loving words, true words that soothe and support. They lead you on the right path. LOVE YOUR CHILDREN !!!

We touched on the topic of how to raise a child of a single mother. Each family has its own problems and it is difficult to give unambiguous recommendations. We advise you to definitely read the article "". Being a beloved mother for your children is a real art that needs to be learned throughout your life. Let's try to give some recommendations on how to become a good momth.

An incomplete family can be quite comfortable for a child, comprehensively developing and full-fledged - the main thing is to intelligently organize educational moments. As a rule, the “mother and daughter” family experiences fewer problems, because the mother and daughter can always find common topics of conversation, common activities and interests.

But how a single mom raise her son to a real man , not having the very example before your eyes, which your son would look up to?

Remember that you can never replace your dad. So be yourself!

How a single mother can raise a son without a father to be a real man - advice from psychologists

To begin with, every mother, single-handedly raising her son and sincerely wishing to give him the right upbringing, must forget the opinion of individual people that an incomplete family is equal to the upbringing of a defective man. Don't consider your family to be inferior - do not program yourself problems. Inadequacy is determined not by the absence of a father, but by the lack of love and proper upbringing.

Of course, difficulties await you, but you will definitely cope with them. Just avoid mistakes and remember the main thing :

Don't try to be a dad by raising a child like a soldier - hard and uncompromising. If you do not want him to grow up closed and angry, do not forget - he needs affection and tenderness.
A model of behavior for a real man should be mandatory. This does not mean that you need to change men near you, looking for the most courageous dad substitute. We are talking about those men who are in the life of every woman - her dad, brother, uncle, teachers, coaches, etc.

Let the kid spend more time with them (after all, someone has to demonstrate to the boy how to write while standing). The first 5 years are the most important for a baby. It is during this period that a mother needs to give her son the opportunity to take an example from a man. It's good if she meets a person who will replace the baby's father, but if this does not happen, do not lock yourself in with the child in your world - take him to male relatives, go to visit friends, where a man can (albeit briefly) teach the little one a couple of lessons ; give your son to sports. Not to a music or art school, but to a section where a male coach can influence the formation of a courageous personality.
Movies, books, cartoons, stories from mom before bedtime can also be an example to follow. About knights and musketeers, about brave heroes saving the world, protecting women and their families. Of course, the image of "Gena Bukin", the American gigolo and other characters will be a terrible example. Control what your son watches and reads, slip him the right books and films, show on the street with examples how men protect the streets from bandits, how they give way to grannies, how they support the ladies, let them go ahead and give them a hand.
Do not mess with your son, do not distort your language. Communicate with your child like an adult. There is no need to stifle authority with authority, but over-concern will be harmful. Raise your son independent of you. Do not worry that this way he will move away from you - he will love you even more. But by locking a child under your wing, you run the risk of raising an addicted, cowardly egoist.
Do not do all his work for the child, teach him independence. Let him brush his teeth, make the bed, put away the toys after him, and even wash his own cup.

Of course, there is no need to hang women's responsibilities on the child. Forcing your son to hammer nails at 4 is also not worth it. If the child does not succeed, calmly offer to try again. Trust in your child, faith in his capabilities is your best support for him.
Do not dismiss if the baby wants to pity you, hug, kiss. This is how the child takes care of you - let him feel strong. And if he wants to help you carry your bag - let him carry it. But go too far in your "weakness". The child should not be your constant comforter, advisor, etc.
Do not forget to praise your son for his courage, independence and courage. Praise is an incentive for achievement. Of course, not in the spirit of "What a smart girl, my golden baby ...", but "Well done, son" - that is, briefly and to the point.
Give your child freedom. Let him learn to solve conflict situations himself, to endure if he accidentally fell and broke his knee, to understand good and bad people by trial and error.
If your own father wants to communicate with his son, do not resist. Let the child learn to grow up under the supervision of a man. If the father is not an alcoholic and a completely adequate man, then your grievances against your husband do not matter - do not deprive your son of a man's upbringing.

After all, you don't want your son, having matured a little, to go looking for "masculinity" in street companies?
Choose clubs, sections and courses that are dominated by men. Sports, computer, etc.
In the adolescence of your son, another "crisis" awaits you. The child already knows everything about the relationship of the sexes, but the release of testosterone drives him crazy. And he won't be able to talk to you about it. It is extremely important that the child during this period has an authoritative "limiter" and an assistant - a man who will help, prompt, teach self-control.
Do not limit the child's social circle, do not lock him in the apartment. Let him fill bumps and make mistakes, let him put himself in a team and on a playground, let him make friends, take care of girls, protect the weak, etc.
Do not try to impose your understanding of the world on your son. First, he still sees the world differently from you. Secondly, his vision is masculine.

Learn to understand sports with your child, in construction, in cars and pistols, and in other purely male spheres of life.

Family means love and respect. This means that you are always expected and always supported. It doesn't matter if it is complete or not.

It is difficult for a mother to raise her son alone at all times. The father has always been considered the main example in the family, especially for the boy. Mom tends to make many mistakes without noticing them.

The consequences of raising a boy without a father

When only women are engaged in upbringing at home and at school, the guy grows up assiduous, neat, diligent. Courage and courage can be absolutely absent. They fade into the shadows under the influence of female upbringing. There is a search for masculine nature, which will subsequently make itself felt.

Consequences of parenting without a father:

boys brought up without a father are fenced off from difficulties, do not solve problems that arise;
a "mathematical" problem arises. Mental abilities do not develop properly, giving way to the development of the emotional side of the child;
the desire for education in such children is underestimated or completely absent. No dad - no one to take an example from;
as a consequence of mother's upbringing, the development of predominantly female character traits appears;
a child who grew up in an incomplete family does not fully understand, becoming an adult, his male responsibilities.

Personal life. Another consequence of women's upbringing can be a violation of gender identity. There is no "woman + man" model in front of the boy's eyes. As a result, he loses his "I". The value system is changing. Raising a boy without a father leads to improper communication with the opposite sex.

Some mothers sculpt men from sons, regardless of their opinion, desire. As a result, the child has a nervous breakdown, the mother has unjustified hopes and efforts.

You can raise your son as a real man without a father alone. It is recommended to engage not only in raising your son, but also in your own. The parent is the best example for the child.

It should not be forgotten that even with the most diligent mother, the absence of a father will still affect the child. He will not know what a father's love is. And after that, how will he be able to raise his sons?

To bring up a real man, a woman who lives without a husband, it takes great efforts. She is able to cope with the task set before herself only with the support of a male representative. You should look for him among the close circle of relatives and friends.

How to raise a boy without a father?

A defective family can become cozy, harmonious and well-rounded. The main thing is to correctly and competently organize the upbringing of the child. It is important to remember that no one can replace a father with a son. The main rule will be that the mother remains herself.

Every mother dreams and wants to give her son a correct and good upbringing. In this case, you need to forget such an opinion of people as an incomplete family - this is the result of poor upbringing, and in the future, an inferior man.

How to properly raise a son without a father:

your family should not be considered inferior. The main thing is to know that she is like everyone else, no different. Inadequacy in the family is not the absence of a father, but a bad upbringing, in which there is no love, attention and affection for the child;
you should not try to become a father, at the same time be a mom and dad for a child. It is undesirable to bring up a son as a soldier. If you do not want him to grow up angry, withdrawn, offended by the whole world, deprived, then it is important to know that kindness, affection and tenderness must be present;
a model of male behavior is needed. Don't look for a replacement for your dad. A man is required who will truly become an example for his son. This can be a woman's dad, brother, uncle, godfather, coach or teacher.

Raising a 4-year-old boy without a father is a big responsibility, because at this age he begins to understand what adults want. It should be done so that the child spends as much time as possible with men who are ideal and example for him in everything. It is during this period of life that you need to help your son in such communication, since they will become an example for him.

Development. It is also necessary for a child to learn about the world with the help of books, cartoons, films, telling their own stories. These are stories about brave, courageous heroes who save the world, respect their wives and value families.

The control. We need constant control over the child. It is recommended to know what the son is fond of, what he does in his free time, what he reads and watches. In communication, it is important to speak in ordinary language without distorting it. Conversations are conducted as with an adult, independent person. Raise your child to be independent and self-confident.

Independence. If you keep a child near you all the time, there is a risk of raising an egoist and a coward. Independence is also an important factor in raising a boy without a father. Doing something himself, the child understands that he is responsible for this or that matter.

If the baby has a desire to hug, kiss, regret, do not reject him. Thus, he shows his care and attention. While raising a boy, it is necessary to instill masculinity, courage, independence, while not violating his own freedom.

Raising a son as a real man without a father is hard work. But in a family in which love and respect for each other reigns, everything will be fine. Loving mothers, and most importantly those who understand their sons, bring up masculinity in them. This is a difficult task, but wishing goodness and happiness to her son, every mother is ready for everyone and always to help him.

How to raise a boy to a single mom?

The family in which the child lives with his mother is incomplete. There is an opinion that in such a family the boy receives the wrong upbringing. But this is not at all the case. The main thing is to organize the educational process correctly.

Raising a son as a single mother is not an easy moment. First of all, the mother does not need to pay attention to the opinion of people who believe that such a family is inferior. Inadequacy lies not in the fact that there is no father, but in love and correct upbringing.

One should not strive to cultivate cruelty and uncompromisingness. Better to give him more affection and warmth. Raising sons in naturist families by mothers is a little different from raising in ordinary families.

Male communication. As he gets older, the boy needs to communicate with men. In this case, such communication can be provided by relatives, coaches of circles, and finally - teachers. The mother must take care of the child's development as a man. Therefore, it is good to send the boy to the sports sections. There he will receive the education of a courageous personality.

Teenage years a difficult period in itself. Raising a teenage son by a single mother has its own characteristics. Right now the guys are learning about gender relations. The son may not give in to open conversations with his mother. In this period, it is necessary that there be an assistant in the personality of a man who could prompt, teach self-control.

A mother's upbringing of a son should not prohibit communicating with the father, if he so desires. In addition, the boy's communication with his peers plays a significant role in the educational process. He learns to behave in society. If conflict situations arise, let him navigate himself in solving the problem.

Mom's responsibilities. Women raise boys sometimes by shifting their responsibilities onto the child. You don't need to do this. By helping the mother, the child hopes to see support. Showing his courage, he tries to do something to help his loved one: bring a bag, hug, show pity. You shouldn't push him away, but also try not to overdo it.

A boy brought up by women combines all the virtues that guys brought up in full families. In order not to be mistaken in upbringing, the child should not be blamed for the problems that have arisen. Mother's care for the child is the main thing.

Single mothers, having given birth to a child, have a duty before themselves - to raise him as a worthy member of society.

Many single mothers wonder whether it is possible to raise a son as a real man without a father. Without a doubt, such a possibility exists, but in order for the upbringing of a son without a father to be successful, it is extremely important to choose the right tactics for upbringing. The main task is to teach the correct communication with the fair sex and give male character traits to the future guy.

a child cannot be blamed for a difficult life without the participation of the father. Otherwise, the boy will grow up feeling guilty, which will negatively affect his self-esteem;
a son should be proud of his mother. In this regard, you need to monitor your appearance, regardless of the complexity and specifics of the household;
a mother should control herself in affectionate relationship with her son. Otherwise, the child can be loved, with the result that the son will grow up vulnerable and effeminate. Any kisses and hugs are permissible only in private and in compliance with the measure;
on the street, you cannot closely monitor the boy's clothes. Therefore, it is not recommended to force them to wear a hat or tie a scarf tightly. It is advisable to resolve these issues only at home;
the advice of psychologists is aimed at the all-round development of teenage boys. It is best to allow visiting sports clubs, dating with the fair sex.

Male education. Even a boy has to associate with grown men. It is best to allow your son to communicate with uncles and other relatives, with whom you can go fishing and hiking for many days, watch football, play sports. Given the absence of a father, a mother should try to support the male interests of her child.

In any case, male psychology should be built on the following principle: a man is an assistant and support. For this reason, the son needs to be entrusted with heavy bags and other male responsibilities. You should not cope with repair work, using a drill and nails on your own.

Modern psychology recommends how to raise a boy without a father, therefore, even from this difficult life situation, you can find a worthy way out. After another man appears in the family, you will have to go through a short period of jealousy of your son.

However, later the chosen one of the mother will get along with the child, thanks to which it will be possible to create a full-fledged family. Regardless of the conditions in which the upbringing of a son is carried out, he should be given the opportunity to be successful and strive for leadership, to achieve any set goals.

Women can do anything. And to raise a child without a father - too. Many brilliantly prove this - including the ex-husband. But still, deep down in her soul, a single woman is disturbed by many questions concerning the upbringing and future life of her children. Psychologist Anetta Orlova will try to dispel the main fears of mothers who have already experienced a divorce, or are just seriously thinking about it.

Fear that will rob the child of the father

Women who do not feel happy in marriage, sometimes, like a spell, repeat the words: "A child must have a father." But these words do not have any magical power - they do not make the relationship of spouses stronger, do not teach them to love and respect each other. Nevertheless, the mother (it is the mother, not the wife) tries to save her family, turns a blind eye to the problems with her husband and completely concentrates on the child. As a result, a man and a woman coexist in the space of the house, avoid difficult conversations and conserve irritation inside themselves. As you can imagine, a child becomes a witness of negative communication between parents, as a result, a distorted model of relations between a man and a woman is formed, as well as a misunderstanding of the family. It turns out that the meaning of maternal sacrifices is largely lost.

By the way, recently, sociologists from the United States conducted a study and found that children who survived a divorce of their parents have every chance to build a happy one. The authors of the study are sure: babies are more influenced not by the official status of mom and dad, but by how warm the parents managed to keep the relationship. "You can live under one roof, but constantly swear, or you can get divorced, but remain good friends. Many parents, wishing to be an example for children, choose the first option and tolerate each other. A child who grows up in such conditions is more likely to repeat the fate of his parents." , - say sociologists.

But there is an excellent way to prevent this fear - taking care of the marital relationship from the first day of marriage and all the subsequent time. There is no need to replace these relationships with parent-child relationships, in which there is a lot of warmth, responsibility, but no place for attraction. In other words, a woman should not forget that a man who has become a father remains her husband, who needs emotional contact, care, and attention. Of course, both partners are responsible for relationships within the family, but since a woman is wiser and more flexible, it makes sense to take the initiative into her own hands. Still, investing in contact with her husband is an investment in the child's future, and by displacing her husband to the periphery of the family, our heroine, in fact, violates the interests of the baby himself.

If a woman is raising a child alone, fear for her life may be activated: "If I am gone, who will take care of the baby?" The mother invents various ailments for herself, draws in her imagination sad pictures of her future, but in the present she does not feel the joy and happiness of motherhood. Of course, it is impossible to insure yourself against all problems, but there are ways to reduce anxiety. Our heroine needs to be attentive to her health, try to establish communication between the child and the father, take care of the contact between the baby and the grandparents. You can do practices that will help reduce anxiety, lead a healthy lifestyle.

In my childhood and adolescence, listening to the conversations of adults, I often asked my mother why this or that friend of hers lived with her hated husband. To which my mother told me - if you grow up, you will understand. Of course, I was a maximalist. Until his son appeared and a lot of problems with her husband. Indifferent to the child. But his son loves him very much!
Divorced.
All the time, the former spouse took round dances around us: let's live together, I understood everything, we need a family and other blah blah.
After a year and a half, she agreed to try. At first everything seemed to be wonderful, now everything has slipped back onto the old tracks. But the child is happy. Even such a slightly improved attention from the Pope and the fact that we have the same family as everyone else. So I'm glad when I come home, but my husband is not there. I will endure. While the son needs it.

09.08.2013 15:14:08,

Total 6 posts .