I do not know what to do next. We often tell ourselves this when we are consumed by crisis, fatigue and depression. What to do if you get stuck at one point? What to do if you run in one circle? What to do if you feel trapped?
“Today you want one thing - to die, and tomorrow you wake up and realize that you just had to go down a few steps, feel for the switch on the wall and see life in a completely different light...” Anna Gavalda
Sometimes it happens that things get bad. Is it an age crisis, depression or an understanding of the hopelessness of life? Together. What are you doing wrong? How to find your way and get out of the absorbing abyss?
What to do if you get stuck at one point?
1. You surrounded yourself with the wrong people. Time to change friends!
Your surroundings are completely “strangers”, even if you have known them for a long time. You have no common interests, goals, desires. These people serve not as a support, but as an anchor on the leg. Because of them, you are stuck at one point and are slowly going to the bottom. They pull back, criticize, waste time and energy. They make you a failure, just like themselves. What to do in this case?
Find those who will inspire, think alike and motivate. Someone you can grow with. Who is better. Someone to look up to. Find new acquaintances, friends and buddies. Surround yourself with strong people. Who do you want to be like?
2. You're stuck and have lost your grip. It's time to wake up and stop being shit!
Crisis, fatigue and depression? What to do if you don't know what to do? Often the reason for unhappiness lies in the fact that you are stuck and have lost your grip. Run home from work. There are TV series, the Internet, social networks, TV and a sofa. On weekends, sleep until lunch, get-togethers with friends, alcohol, entertainment and laziness. You understand that you are not doing anything right and proper. For this reason, you are unhappy and go into the swamp of depression.
It's time for you to start moving minimally. Bring dynamics into your life. To do at least something, and not to go with the flow, like a weak-willed piece of shit. Start learning a foreign language, take courses, join a gym, and educate yourself. Shake yourself up.
3. You're not doing what you want. Time to find your goals!
Many people work for a long time on goals that are far from their real desires. They work in jobs they hate. They do things that don't inspire them. They are mired in routine and the meaninglessness of life.
You're not doing what you want. You wasted your time and your potential on the wrong things. What to do if you made a mistake in choosing the path? Set a new goal. A new real goal. Which you really want to achieve.
Goals should not be whims or nonsense. Now write down on a piece of paper what you most want to achieve. Make a detailed plan and tie it to time.
4. You are a fatalist. It's time to try your hand!
It's easy to complain about circumstances, the government, the crisis, parents, ill-wishers and other factors. Stop abdicating responsibility and pointing to fate. It's time to take full responsibility into your own hands.
We are unhappy when we allow ourselves to waste our resources: time, effort, energy and potential. Make a plan to achieve your goal. Get out of the circle and try new things. Test yourself for strength. Rush into battle. Take risks. You are unhappy for the reason that your “engine” does not growl and does not work at full strength.
What to do if you don't know what to do? Find like-minded people, start doing at least something, find goals and rush into battle.
Today we’ll talk about how to get out of such an unpleasant thing as “action paralysis.” This thing happens in several cases: a) when a person does not know what he wants, and therefore “slows down”. b) when it seems to us that we are at the bottom, from which it is difficult to get out. c) when it’s hard to take a big path or do a huge deed. What to do?
1. Challenge yourself.
People are very motivated by victories. We love ourselves when we manage to win: defeat ourselves, win in our career, do something extremely difficult. That's why the first way to get out of paralysis is to challenge yourself. Challenge stimulates the brain, increases self-esteem, and gives energy. Sometimes it just takes a push to get things moving. Any event that helps you feel in control of your life. If your heart demands it: - Go to Baikal, jump with a parachute, run every morning for 30 days, perform stand up, go around the world (without money), swim naked, conquer a mountain, run a marathon, take a tour of a city of tourists, learn dance salsa, give up your phone for a week, write a book, perform in a bullfight. Don't look for logic. Challenge.
2. Start doing at least something REGULARLY.
I have an acquaintance who lost everything a couple of years ago: his business collapsed, his wife left, he started drinking and, as he says, he became so “down” that he even stopped brushing his teeth. “I realized that I needed to take at least one creative step, and I made a promise to myself to brush my teeth every morning and evening,” he said. And with this small step his rise from the bottom began. After brushing his teeth, morning exercises came, after exercise came the strength to read books, books changed his worldview and attracted new surroundings, all this increased self-esteem and in the end the guy completely rose from the ashes. So it’s a fact: to get out of any ass, you need to start doing one small discipline thing regularly.
3. Do things that make you feel good.
Guess who is the main person in our lives? Of course we are. And it is very important that we are proud of ourselves and approve of ourselves. I always recommend making a list called: “When do I feel good?” For example, my designer friend had the following list: “I feel great when: I look good; I walk a lot; I help parents; coping with a difficult task; I’m coming up with a new cut for the dress; I eat right; I go to the gym." Make yourself the same list - and Alga! Do what makes you feel great.
4. Provide clarity.
Points 1, 2, 3 are designed to fill you with energy. You have to start wanting something! But once you have the energy, what to do next? I am sure that only meaningful work can bring pleasure. In order to set the direction of movement, find out which professions are filled with deep meaning for you? Write down everything that comes to mind, even if it looks strange from the outside. For example, recently one girl who worked as a dentist said that she sees the greatest meaning in the work of... tattoo artists. And she became one of them! “When I first went to the tattoo parlor, my knees started shaking. I realized: this is mine!” she says. Strange? Naive? Great! What does your inner voice say?
5. Don't try to see the whole path.
Many people are afraid to start moving towards their heart because they do not see the exact path. But the more books I read and the “success stories” I study, the more I am sure: no one initially knew how he would get where he did. Do you know how Larry Page and Sergey Brin came up with Google? Initially, they were employees of the Stanford Digital Library, and they were faced with the task of creating an online library search. In general, they were such shamanists - and oops, it turned out to be Google. How? Yes, it’s not clear. Initially, no one set such an ambitious goal as unifying all the information in the world. Of course, I’m describing this in an exaggerated way, but that’s the gist of it. It's like automatic doors in a supermarket: while you stand still, they are closed. As soon as you take a step forward, they open.
upd: The book “100 ways to change your life” is already on sale! It contains even more motivation and inspiration. Under the cover are new unpublished “methods”, a concentrate of 1000 books on self-development and dozens of real stories. Dream. Do it. Change.
In our life, all sorts of unpleasant and even extreme situations can happen, and once in which a person most often does not know what to do. No one is safe from them, and they can happen to you too. We want to tell you how to deal with them and how to get out of them. So what to do if you get stuck in an elevator?
Unpleasant surprise: the elevator has stopped and you're stuck
Of course, it is more beneficial to walk; it significantly strengthens the leg muscles. But sometimes situations arise when it is better to use the services of an elevator. This is where an unpleasant surprise may await you - the elevator may get stuck on the way.
Imagine this situation: your homework is over, the day went very well (you even scored excellent on your math test, which doesn’t happen to you very often), and you, having safely arrived home, called the elevator and are going to your floor. As the elevator goes up (assuming you live on the ninth floor), you plan what you will do after you eat lunch and do your homework. For example, you can go to visit a classmate or stay at home and, which you were recently given for your birthday, or you can go out for a walk and, or... But then a nasty grinding sound is heard - and the elevator, jerking convulsively two or three times, freezes in place . You find yourself between heaven and earth. What to do? - you begin to think feverishly.
Well first of all, don't panic. Your panic may make the situation even worse. Therefore, calm down (after all, the elevator did not fall down at great speed, but just stopped). Apart from your slight fright, nothing else terrible happened. Try to figure out what happened.
Calm, just calm!
Naturally, if you were traveling in the elevator not alone, but with adults, then in general you have nothing to worry about; they themselves will find a suitable way out of the current situation. All you have to do is wait for them to come up with something and not bother them with your questions or whining.
If you are stuck in an elevator alone, then don’t fall into despair. Try to remember what happened before the elevator stopped. Maybe you yourself accidentally leaned against the wall of the elevator car, on which the panel with floor call buttons is located, and pressed the “Stop” button with your school backpack. In this case, try pressing the button for your floor again. If the elevator moves and takes you to the desired floor, then this means that it is really your fault that it stops.
If, simultaneously with the elevator car stopping, the light in it goes out, then it is possible that the electricity in the entire house or just in one entrance is temporarily cut off. Of course, the ideal option is if you have it with you, although in many cases this is justified. If you don’t have your phone with you, don’t worry, your situation is not hopeless anyway. Turn to people who will definitely pass by and shout to them that you need help. You can also ask them to contact your parents if they are at home at that moment. Have someone tell the elevator operator on duty that you are stuck in the elevator. After that, calmly wait until you are rescued from the elevator back into the world.
If the elevator has stopped, but there are no problems with power outages, then try to contact the elevator operator on duty using a special intercom located on the panel with buttons. If you fail to do this (not everything and not always works normally in life), then call those around you loudly and explain to them what happened to you. Be sure that they will definitely help you.
How to behave in an elevator
If you are stuck in an elevator, do not try to open its doors from the inside, even if it seems to you that the elevator has stopped right on the floor. Firstly, you most likely will not be able to do this, and secondly, you can ruin it. And this, in turn, will make it difficult to get you out of the elevator and will anger the elevator mechanic.
Therefore, remember that you need to use the elevator carefully, following the relevant rules. When you enter the elevator and press the button for your floor, stand still and do not turn around. It will be better if you don't lean against the walls of the elevator. Firstly, you can get your clothes dirty from them, and secondly, this is just a bad habit that you need to get rid of right away.
Also, while the elevator is moving, you shouldn’t fool around and press all the buttons in a row or imagine that you are an Australian kangaroo and start jumping in the elevator the same way a kangaroo does. The result of such reckless jumps can be unpleasant - the elevator will be offended by you and stop, and you will find yourself in an unpleasant situation, like the heroes of our humorous story, which we called “We've finished playing.”
A story about children's pranks in an elevator
Kolya Gribov and Sasha Rybkin were walking to school. They usually went out early to take a walk and stay outside longer.
Look,” Sasha shouted enthusiastically, turning to his friend and pointing to a beautiful tall house on the other side of the street, “the eighteen-story building has been completed, let’s go take a look!”
Won't we be late for school, there's a math test today? - Kolya reminded his classmate.
We won’t be long, we’ll just have a look and that’s all. - Sasha looked at the watch on his hand. - Still 20 minutes before the bell, we'll make it.
The boys headed to the door and entered the entrance of the new house.
This is beauty! - Sasha was delighted. - Look how light, spacious, and the walls are clean, not like in our entrance.
Yes,” Kolya agreed with his friend, “it’s great here, I wish I could live in this house.” Let’s go up to the very top floor and take a bird’s eye view, I’m sure you can see the whole city from here,” Kolya suggested to his friend.
On foot, to such a height! - Sasha exclaimed and pulled Kolya by the sleeve to the front door.
But suddenly, fortunately or, conversely, for the misfortune of our heroes, the boys saw a man who came out of the elevator with a huge Great Dane.
Elevator! - Kolya shouted joyfully. The boys ran into the elevator car.
The elevator in the new house matched the house itself: light, spacious, with a huge mirror on the wall and a shiny handle. While the elevator quickly and silently carried the boys to the desired floor, Sasha continued to admire.
Beauty! - exclaimed Sasha, - well, just like in America. I saw exactly the same elevator in one action movie, well, remember that movie, where the bald guy turned out to be a traitor?
“I remember,” Sasha supported his friend, “do you remember how the bandits chased him on a high-speed elevator and fought in it, one more leg was pinched, and at that moment they grabbed the bald one?”
The elevator stopped at the top floor and the boys got out.
Well,” Sasha drawled sadly, “how can we see the city if the window is so high?”
The boys were not able to admire the beauty of the city from a bird's eye view, since the window in the entrance was indeed very high.
Let's ride the elevator! - suggested Sasha.
Won't we get stuck? - Kolya said incredulously.
I once rode the elevator all day in my house and never got stuck; “Don’t be afraid, the house is new, the elevator is also new, so we won’t get stuck,” Sasha assured his friend.
“Okay, let’s go for a ride, just for a short time, otherwise we’ll be late for the test,” Kolya said and pressed the button for the tenth floor.
Friends rode two or three times, and they were tired of this activity. Then the resourceful Sasha invited Kolya to play in the elevator.
Kohl, come on, like in that movie, I will chase you, and you will run away from me in the elevator or vice versa.
“Come on,” Kolya, a friend, picked up the idea, and that’s when the fun began...
The entrance “shuddered” from the wild scream of Sasha the bandit and Kolya running away from him. The boys hid from each other on the floors; Kolya was hiding from Sasha in the elevator, and Sasha was dashing down the smooth railings. And so the boys found themselves in the elevator together (an episode from the boys’ favorite movie) and began to fight and jump.
Sasha was very glad that he managed to catch up with Kolya, but Kolya did not want to give up and used a trick from his favorite movie: he began to press all the buttons in a row, because one of these buttons in this film was directly connected with the police. But there was no such button in this elevator, and there couldn’t have been one. But the elevator eventually got tired of carrying the “bandits” and it stopped: the lights in the elevator went out, and our heroes were left sitting in the dark.
Finding themselves in the dark, Sasha and Kolya immediately forgot about the interesting game and remembered that they urgently needed to go to school.
What is this? - Sasha said in fear, - we seem to be stuck.
What to do now, how do we get out of here? - Kolya said with a trembling voice. He turned on the backlight on his digital watch to see the time.
We were late for the test, it was fifteen minutes to nine, what are we going to say at school now? It's all because of you! “We won’t be long, there’s still a lot of time,” Kolya mimicked his classmate.
“I didn’t know that this would happen, let’s call someone for help,” Sasha suggested, “maybe someone will hear us and get us out of here?”
The boys began to call for help, but for some reason no one wanted to save them.
The friends squatted down and waited.
There’s probably a lot of time already, I’m hungry,” Kolya sobbed.
Let’s call for help,” Sasha perked up and began drumming on the elevator door.
Let us out of here, we're stuck!
Who's there? - the boys heard a menacing male bass.
It's us, Sasha and Kolya, we seem to be stuck.
The elevator is not working, wait a little,” answered the same voice, which apparently belonged to the elevator operator.
A few minutes later the lights turned on in the elevator and it went down.
Coming out of the elevator doors, the boys encountered a math teacher who was entering the entrance. Now …
This unpleasant story happened to two friends. We hope that a similar story will not happen to you, if, of course, you behave correctly.
What not to do inside an elevator car
It’s very unpleasant to say, but such a comfortable and closed elevator cabin has nothing in common with a toilet cabin. Please remember this too.
We understand your curious nature, but we still want to warn you that under no circumstances should you try to open the elevator doors with keys or some other suitable piece of hardware while the elevator is moving. This is a surefire way to get stuck in an elevator, or worse, ruin it. Moreover, if you decide to do this at the moment when someone else, unsuspectingly, is riding in it to his floor, then know that because of your stupid prank, he or they (if there are several passengers in the elevator) , will most likely get stuck and be extremely unhappy about it.
In a word, remember that you cannot play around with the elevator, press the call button on some floor with matches, much less melt them with lighters, or do any other dirty tricks. These seemingly harmless pranks can lead to dire consequences. And also, before you spoil anything, remember if you are using it yourself.
If you read carefully and, most importantly, remember our advice, then you will not have any special problems with the elevator.
Today we’ll talk about how to get out of such an unpleasant thing as “action paralysis.” This thing happens in several cases: a) when a person does not know what he wants, and therefore “slows down”. b) when it seems to us that we are at the bottom, from which it is difficult to get out. c) when it’s hard to take a big path or do a huge deed. What to do?
1. Challenge yourself.
People are very motivated by victories. We love ourselves when we manage to win: defeat ourselves, win in our career, do something extremely difficult. That's why the first way to get out of paralysis is to challenge yourself. Challenge stimulates the brain, increases self-esteem, and gives energy. Sometimes it just takes a push to get things moving. Any event that helps you feel in control of your life. If your heart requires it:
Go to Baikal, jump with a parachute, run every morning for 30 days, perform stand up, go around the world (without money), swim naked, conquer a mountain, run a marathon, take a tour of a tourist city, learn to dance salsa, give up your phone for a week, write a book, perform in a bullfight. Don't look for logic. Challenge.
2. Start doing at least something REGULARLY.
I have an acquaintance who lost everything a couple of years ago: his business collapsed, his wife left, he started drinking and, as he says, he became so “down” that he even stopped brushing his teeth. “I realized that I needed to take at least one creative step, and I made a promise to myself to brush my teeth every morning and evening,” he said. And with this small step his rise from the bottom began. After brushing his teeth, morning exercises came, after exercise came the strength to read books, books changed his worldview and attracted new surroundings, all this increased self-esteem and in the end the guy completely rose from the ashes. So it’s a fact: to get out of any ass, you need to start doing one small discipline thing regularly.
3. Do things that make you feel good.
Guess who is the main person in our lives? Of course we are. And it is very important that we are proud of ourselves and approve of ourselves. I always recommend making a list called: “When do I feel good?” For example, my designer friend had the following list: “I feel great when: I look good; I walk a lot; I help parents; coping with a difficult task; I’m coming up with a new cut for the dress; I eat right; I go to the gym." Make yourself the same list - and Alga! Do what makes you feel great.
4. Provide clarity.
Points 1, 2, 3 are designed to fill you with energy. You have to start wanting something! But once you have the energy, what to do next? I am sure that only meaningful work can bring pleasure. In order to set the direction of movement, find out which professions are filled with deep meaning for you? Write down everything that comes to mind, even if it looks strange from the outside. For example, recently one girl who worked as a dentist said that she sees the greatest meaning in the work of... tattoo artists. And she became one of them! “When I first went to the tattoo parlor, my knees started shaking. I realized: this is mine!” she says. Strange? Naive? Great! What does your inner voice say?
5. Don't try to see the whole path.
Many people are afraid to start moving towards their heart because they do not see the exact path. But the more books I read and the “success stories” I study, the more I am sure: no one initially knew how he would get where he did.
Do you know how Larry Page and Sergey Brin came up with Google? Initially, they were employees of the Stanford Digital Library, and they were faced with the task of creating an online library search. In general, they were such shamanists - and oops, it turned out to be Google. How? Yes, it’s not clear. Initially, no one set such an ambitious goal as unifying all the information in the world. Of course, I’m describing this in an exaggerated way, but that’s the gist of it. It's like automatic doors in a supermarket: while you stand still, they are closed. As soon as you take a step forward, they open.
The statistics are grim. A recent study found that 69% of people feel trapped in an unbearable routine, and only 3 out of 10 people are satisfied with their lives. Most are “stuck in the textures of reality,” where there is no intellectual and emotional development, expansion of boundaries, or career prospects. Complete dissatisfaction that drowns out everything. This happened to us, and the feeling from it was the most disgusting. Reminds me of running, which cannot be turned off. You seem to be trying to run forward, but you stand still. How does this happen? Are you doing something wrong? Why aren't you moving forward? What can help you? Let's try to answer these questions right now.
Causes
The reasons may vary. For example, some people work long and hard on goals that do not correspond to their true desires at all. We call such goals false. Things like this break people and make them feel broken and lost. You can be successful, build a “successful life,” but if this success does not go hand in hand with your will, then it will mean nothing. You just wasted your time. It's difficult to realize your potential if you don't understand who you are.
Other people feel stuck because they haven't surrounded themselves with mentors and friends who can serve as role models. They hover in uncertainty, which kills them. Or everything stems from banal laziness, which develops into complete impotence. For example, you want to become a cool musician, but you don’t do it; instead, in the evenings you watch TV series and drink beer, although you could play the guitar. The more such meaningless evenings pass, the more difficult it is for you to pick up the guitar in order to bring your dream one step closer to reality.
Two questions you should ask yourself every day
If you want to get out of the wheel of endless repetition, which is called a dull life, then you need to change every day, every day take some steps forward. To begin, ask yourself two questions that will help you test the waters and find direction.
Why am I going to do what I'm going to do today?
Get up in the morning and just ask yourself this question. It is important to delve into this “why” because you spend your whole life doing something. And don't tell me you only go to work to pay the bills - that's a lousy reason. Ask yourself what you are doing with your life. This will allow you to focus on what is important.
What would I like to do today?
Then ask the second question: what would I like to do today? Again, don't ask this question superficially. Yes, we would all like to have a drink today, relax, and have sex with a beautiful woman. But that's not what this is about. The point is that you must make a decision from the point of view of the future, from the point of view of development, from the point of view of your true will. Try to make this decision. Ultimately, you will be able to sketch out several goals that you can already focus on. Well done, you are starting to get out of the swamp.
Choose a realistic goal
Remember that you have to figure out what you want to do today? Great, now think about what goals you set for your personal life and career. Write down all these goals, and then highlight the main thing, because most of the things you described are complete nonsense. It's the pursuit of achievements, not the pursuit of real life that moves you forward. Priorities should not cause suffering, they should help.
Watch your thinking
Work on your inner voice. He should not convince you of your insignificance; on the contrary, he should give you strength for new exploits. If he whispers to you: “You will never be a successful businessman,” then tear out his tongue and adopt a new voice. Try to rephrase your thoughts. For example, in the case of a business, it should be: “I don’t know how to start a business, but I can learn.” It's much better than it was, isn't it?
Test yourself for strength
Moving forward is when you deliberately take risks in order to get some significant jackpot. Moving forward is when you are not afraid to be a hero, at least within your own life. And you don’t need to do anything unimaginable for this. It’s enough just to get out of your comfort zone, and do it every day. Don't be afraid of inconvenience, don't be afraid of new communication, don't be afraid of new feelings. Challenge yourself every hour to expand the scope of your life. Don't limit yourself.
Surround yourself with the right people
This will sound arrogant, but please forget about the losers who drag you down. Your friends should be successful, your girlfriends should be the most beautiful and charming. If this is not so, then you simply lower the bar for your own life, or even begin to degrade altogether.
In general, form your social circle according to the following rules: 1) friends should motivate you; 2) friends must be successful; 3) friends should develop, and not sit still. Everything else is secondary, although even with successful friends it should, first of all, be interesting.
